One small catastrophe for the moment, a blessing in disguise

For the longest time now, I've been fascinated by the concept of the butterfly effect. The knowledge that every decision, every single change made in your life, or in that of another, will shape the outcome of your entire existing. Therefore, any decision you make right now, will shape future you, for better or worse.

I myself have noticed this quite a few times already. Even though there ain't a single moment or experience I can say of which has, by its own, shaped the way I'm currently experiencing life. There are, in fact, a number of choices made that brought me here. A place where I'm happy to be. Even though at the moment of the experience, things might have looked very different.

The current COVID crisis might be one of the most relatable moments, and choices, we have all faced. Even though we did not experience this crisis the same. And we certainly did not explicitly choose to get involved in this pandemic. There is yet no reason to say this is only bad.

William B. Irvine talks about this in one of his Stoic Talks, in the Waking Up with Sam Harris app. He calls these moments silver linings. The good things that might happen during times of uncertainty, doubt, or even negativity. Or in the those that will follow. No matter how bad things might look right now, there are always silver linings to find. How we decide to interact, or not, with them, however, dictates the outcome of those events in question.

How I ended up here

Silver linings, the butterfly effect, and the fact that in the end, everything will turn out completely fine. They all have something in common. They all give me, and maybe you, the idea that we do have a choice. In fact, life is the result of the choices we make. No matter how small it might seem at the moment, these decisions, compounded over time, are what shape us. Even though we might not see the current road we're on. And don't know what path we'll take next. It's by looking backwards only that we can connect the dots.

For me, this example is most clear while writing this piece. About 6 years ago, 16 years old me was given a choice. It was during my fourth year of high school when my second school-organized city trip would take place. Regarding destinations, three options were given. Of which, the boys and I chose to go to Prague. The capital of the beautiful Czech Republic.

It was in that city I actually got to know most students in my year. Even though I essentially stayed within my comfort zone, the friends I already had, I got to know so many more other students. It was by going on small adventures with them, participating at dinner and chatting online via Snapchat and WhatsApp. The latter of which actually brought me closer to someone special. By taking part of the group conversation private, I really got to know this girl. Not much later, back in the Netherlands. I found myself on our first date, which turned into a second, a third and eventually a relationship.

This relationship lasted through the end of high school, and well into college. Fast-forward a few years, and it was here that I was given another opportunity to go abroad. Not just for a city trip, but for a full 6 months of study abroad. As a dude who loves travel, and always wanted to explore Norway, this seemed to be the perfect opportunity for my adventure.

I applied at my college's international office to study abroad, went to visiting hours, events and talked to experts in the field. Eventually, I decided to go to Finland, another beautiful Scandinavian country whose curriculum was of more interest to me than its neighbors had to offer.

Weeks and months went by. Besides my normal curriculum, I was preparing for what would be my biggest adventure yet. Would be...

COVID had already made its entrance into Europe and the Netherlands. I certainly understood there was a chance this whole adventure wasn't going to happen after all. Even though the situation at that time was pretty unclear, and the future uncertain, I kept hope. Lots of it.

Finland, being a Scandinavian country, and therefore, has 'expensive' as its last name. It soon became clear to me, I needed money. Fast. Problem was, COVID didn't make it easy for anyone to get a job. Lucky, I understood that good things ain't easy.

Having browsed most vacancy sites, and applied for a job at the local supermarket (which I was denied for), I still had no source of income. I left my previous part-time job a few months earlier after all.

It was a few weeks later when I found myself on my girlfriend's couch listening to the radio. These in between song moments are what I dislike the most about listening to FM rather than streaming on my own. The constant screaming and irrelevant advertisements are what make the experience so bad. There was, however, this one advertisement that for this one special moment actually made sense to me. The newspapers were looking for delivery guys (or girls) who could start asap, and didn't care about waking up at 4:30 am 6 days a week. I did care. But more about this being one of the few opportunities I could take that would actually mean getting some money for my journey. So I took the offer.

Weeks of early mornings, long walks, flat tires, and eventually, pay checks went by. I was actually getting there. Money came in, I was accepted at the Finnish college, in line for a housing offer, and ready to buy my plane ticket. Things were looking good.

Then COVID returned, big time. A few days before my summer holiday, the international office of my college popped into my mailbox with a 4 page long email. The name of the sender, and the amount of words written were enough. I knew what was in there: the confirmation that I was no longer granted permission to continue studying in Finland. If I were to go anyhow, all responsibilities were my own, credits would become invalid and there would be no one helping me get back home if I became trapped in a country that would very possibly shut down all borders. Bummer. Fun thing I received this message just few hours after I've officially canceled my backup plan in the Netherlands. In case something like this would happen.

I still had this job, however. And could use the money anyhow. Not to mention, I actually quite enjoyed it. As long as it was possible to combine with college. Until it no longer did. COVID hit me personally, and I wasn't able to bring the newspapers.

It was around this time that the person who hired me decided to go through a change himself. A career change as a matter of fact. This guy, who has been in the newspaper delivery industry for years, decided it was a good idea to take over a local restaurant. And he said so in his parting letter to me and my colleagues. No more than applicable, it seemed to wish him the best of luck.

A few days later, I got a phone call. It was my former employer. Telling me the decision he had made, and asking me if I'd like to come work with him at this restaurant. Which, he not much later, could call his own. I, literally, had only seen this dude once. And, of course, took the offer.

From newspaper delivery guy, to bartender, to designer, to entrepreneur

Already some research on his restaurant was done on my side, even before he made the initial call. I think it was out of curiosity, but potentially there was something I subconsciously knew, or was hoping for. Something like a career change. It didn't seem like such a special place to be honest. Just a local chip shop with a restaurant attached. I did, however, like the dude, and wanted to take on this journey. Besides, as someone who called himself an introvert, opening up to new people is one of the best ways to get out of my comfort zone. Actually improve my socializing skills. What a better way than to force myself into situations like this?

Uhh, how about no. COVID must have thought. Hitting us with another lockdown. Restaurants had to close their doors for visitors, and only remained open for take away. Leaving nearly half the work available for 100% of the working staff. Since I was last to join the club, there wasn't much left for me...

When things were getting a bit back to normal, however, my college journey was already in the next phase. This time, I was working on a full time internship at an ethical fashion store located in Amsterdam. The work, however, was done at home, like for most of us. It was also around this time that my employer remembered the fact that I was doing creative study, and he needed a creative person. So he asked me to, for one time, make some flyers. Those flyers turned out into a complete rebranding of his restaurant, website, social media strategy and what not. In all of which, I played, and still play, a very active role.

Only recently I've taking things to the next level. Truly taking the steps necessary to start my own business. My own brand, and helping others build theirs. It was something I felt like doing for a long time, and which my employer at the restaurant actually encouraged me to do. You know, that person I met because I required money for my study abroad, that didn't happen anyway.

It remains wonderful, looking back at the choices I've made. Seeing the dots slowly, but surely connect. Opportunities that finally come together.

How in moments things might look so bad, it's only after time we'll see the opportunities these events actually open up. Not going to Norway brought me to Finland. COVID made me stay at home. Staying in the Netherlands gave me a new job. Which made me get to know my employer. Getting to know him opened a new world of opportunities. Some of which brought me here.

So, what is all of this?

This is basically my personal, much longer, version of the Chinese farmers' story. It's my real life proof, that we simply don't know if a current event is a good thing or a bad thing. Only time will tell.

So, what is your story? What were things you thought would destroy your career, relationship, or even life? And how did those things actually turn out. I believe this is one of the most rewarding, and fun exercises you can do at home.

Thoughts on doing what you love

Life is a series of opportunities taken, paths traveled, and roads left unexplored. The choice of which journey to follow, is yours to take.

So, explore, do things you'd like to do. Even though you might not think it has any added value at the moment, or in (near) the future. Steve Jobs didn't know what he was getting into when he started taking calligraphy lessons. But it did shape the way the Macintosh was designed, and changed the entire computer industry. I didn't know that going to a foreign country would get me into a long term relationship. That the cancellation of one journey, would bring me into another, possibly more exiting one.

Writing this as someone who has only 22 years of experience of this thing called life, I sure have a lot to learn. And probably even more choices to make. However, by being mindful of the impact of those decisions, understanding the power of increasing my serendipity, and, most importantly, knowing that, in the end, everything will turn out to be just fine, reduces lots of worries. Worries I know my peers, and lots of elderly people have about their, or my future. And it's this knowledge, that brings peace, and makes me completely happy having spend whole day writing this single article. Even if no-one is going to read it. I already won, simply by showing up. By choosing to take this route. A new path, the start of a new journey.

Related thoughts

One thought leads to another, just like one decision sets te path for a road to discover. Below are some paths you might want to travel.

Increasing your serendipity, as a way to attract more opportunities to your life. By building in public, taking on calligraphy lessons like Steve Jobs or getting lost while going for a run.

The butterfly effect more clearly explained, and thoughts on playing the long game.

Lastly, one of my favorite artists Mike Posner, wrote a song called Move On. It's in this song, in which he clearly states what this article is all about:

Beginnings always hide themselves in ends. - Mike Posner