This post is my review for the year 2023, inspired by James Clear. The prompts are:

• What went well this year?
• What didn't go well this year?

Among those, I've added my learnings as quotes that relate to me and the situation. Later in the article, I share my favorite resources that shaped my thinking.

What went well this year?

2023 has been a blessing, so it's a long list. Here are the main things I've accomplished.

Stepping outside my comfort zone

I've heard it so many times: "Juul, you look so confident." Thing is, I don't always feel confident. At least, I didn't. Not to the extent 2023 has brought me to. I had a lot of doubts. Am I a good person? Do people like me? Do I like myself? Am I good enough? Besides questioning myself, I had a habit of questioning my abilities.

Imposter syndrome was no joke. Even though it still ain't, it's getting better. Much better. And I like to believe it's because of what Alex Hormozi worded best. "You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror. But by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Outwork your self-doubt." This year I did. On numerous fronts.

You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror. But by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Outwork your self-doubt."

Embracing my independence

Even though having someone I know by my side, especially when encountering new situations, still has its advantage. Right now, I feel much more comfortable exploring new dimensions on my own. Here are some of the stats:

I went to about 10 international projects and meetings this year. Some very first of which were completely on my own. Not knowing what to expect, whom I'll meet, or having very little knowledge (but a lot of interest) on the topic at hand. I decided not to give a fuck, and just go. Who knows what would be there on the other side? Turns out, it was magic. My first project in January was the catalyst of my entire year. Another proof that "anything worthwhile in life is on the other side of fear."

But not just projects and meetings (aka team work). I also made it a habit to visit hostels, climate activism campaigns, concerts and international travels by myself. Things I hadn't done before the start of the year.

Public speaking (without any notice that I would)

Multiple times this year, I've been thrown under the bus. By being asked if I'd introduce myself and my position, talk about subjects far beyond my reach (though I knew enough to teach my audience). In my mother tongue and in English. In front of audiences big and small, or in front of the camera. I feel much more comfortable telling stories in front of big audiences, or taking a prominent role in group settings.

Exploring the world

This year, I've spent more nights in beds not my own than I did at home. I've been traveling through Europe for multiple projects and meetings, spending nights at hostels, Naturefriends houses and friends' places. Traveled internationally by train, Flixbus, carpooling and taxi. Mostly with (newly met) friends, people I had never seen, those two generations older than me, or on my own.

• Austria: 2x
• Belgium: 1x
• France: 2x
• Germany: 4x
• Italy: 2x
• Netherlands: countless

Sharing my emotions

Even though I've always considered myself an emotional guy, I have never been able to really understand my feelings. Let alone talk about them. Though, during the end of the year, I put myself in some situations that forced me to do so. It honestly was one of the, if not the, hardest things I did this year. But I'm glad I finally did. And even though there is still so much progress to be made. I finally started to realize what is lost, if I shut and keep things to myself. I learned so incredibly much, which set the base for the next of my life to learn from. I even had my first session with a psychologist this year.

Adding value to this world

Self acceptance

It took some time, but I have finally come to realize, and embrace, the fact that my presence positively enhances the dynamics of the group. I have gradually been feeling more and more comfortable around people. And have seen the amount of positive reactions grow as well. Still, however, there was a lot of self-doubt. I didn't want any of this "external validation" to grow my ego. Which it didn't. Instead, it made me feel uncomfortable and fed my introversion. Which confused me and the people around me.

But, if from multiple sides, you hear people saying they like to be around you. It's this stack of proof that finally outworks my self-doubt.

Being a board member for three NGOs

I truly believe in the ripple effect (or call it the butterfly effect if you'd like). But having a good time with interesting people doesn't necessarily change the world. And I truly feel this world could use some -change. It's part of the reason I'm working as a volunteer for two of the Young Naturefriends organizations. As a (now second year) board member for Nivonjong, I organize events that bring youth and nature closer to each other. Be it an outdoor weekend in the Netherlands, or the Belgian Ardennes. A canoeing weekend, foraging workshop or drinks and entertainment for our 5-year anniversary.

As a climate activist, I truly believe that in order for people to fight for Climate Justice, they should have a (renewed) appreciation for, and connection with, nature. It's one of my motivations for making nature accessible to all (youth). For IYNF I add value in several areas. I help during the decision-making progress, am an active participant in projects and even organized and held my own workshops. Since September, I have started a new position at MDJong, the youth section of the organization that took Shell to court -and won. Here I'm responsible for the coordination of local action groups for that we're building from the ground up.

the way to make real, impactful change is to show up every day - Mackenzie Smith on X

What didn't go well this year?

Though I still believe '23 to be my best year, ever; there also were a lot of things that could have gone better. These were the most noticeable:

Being present

More than once, my room was a place to come home to, drop my stuff and go to bed. Only to leave the following morning and repeat it all again. I didn't really take any time in between adventures, which made them all blend into eachother. And as I like to not only remember, but also learn from my experiences, I should have taken more time in between joys. To let it all sink in.

With my desire to improve everything, I destroy the moment - Naval

Maintaining existing relationships

Because I was so focused on building my new life, and building new friendships that would last, it was very hard for me to actually maintain the ones I already had. Even though I made an effort to be there during the most noticeable moments of my (closest) friends, there were multiple invitations I'd had already had some other plans.

I understand that friends come and go, and sometimes it's good to put a focus on yourself. But these are friends that are, and I never want to leave. And just like anything you want to see grow, it needs to be watered from time to time.

wil je oogsten moet je planten water geven, en na het oogsten gaan we samen eten

Taking care of my (mental) health

As we progress further and further into the year, my schedule would be more densely filled than it already was. I remember saying in April, that from May on, things would slow down. Which they hadn't. Actually, the opposite was true. And as I shared before, it has taken a toll. I was stressed, overworked, emotionally confused and hadn't exercised for months. My sleeping schedule truly got fucked up. Lying awake till 4 or 5 am, and waking up just a few hours later. Or not getting out of my bed before 12. Both occasions that happened (much, much) more than I'd like to admit.

A lot of people know what it's like to run on empty. But not many know what it feels to have your battery at 100%. Consistently.

In an attempt to fix these, among other things, I:

• cancelled and postponed multiple projects, parties and other obligations
• started working out again (set some big goals for '24)
• started seeing a psychologist

Getting by

Because I was always on the move, and so little at home, I didn't put much time in the general chores. Keeping up with my e-mail, messages and bills that had to be paid. Among other things, I missed multiple payment deadlines, resulting in fines that together add up for a quite nice weekend abroad.

To fix this I'll try to implement a weekly (or at least monthly) review.

Being honest about my emotions and feelings

Even though I've always been an emotional guy, I've never really taken the time to understand my emotions. Or get clear on my feelings. Because of this, I lived quite some time in confusion. And confused those around me as well. Expectations weren't managed and emotions weren't outspoken. Until I truly had to. Multiple times, in a relatively short time-frame. This honestly was one of the hardest months of my life because of it.

The heaviest thing in the world to carry around isn't iron or gold, it's an unmade decision.

Influences that shape(d) my thinking

Readings

Why the bike is much faster than you think (and the car much slower) - by the Correspondent (it's in Dutch, but luckily we have free online translators).

Braiding Sweetgrass - by Robin Wall Kimmerer

The Wonderbox - by Roman Krznaric

Music

Fresku - an amazing Dutch rapper and spoken word artist. I'm fan.

The Erratic Cinematic album by Gerry Cinnamon

Caustic Love by Paolo Nutini

Thoughts leaders and organizations

IYNF - the International Young Naturefriends. Connecting youth from all over the world to foster meaningful connections and inspire for a positive impact

Nick Milo and his newsletter - I absolutely love the way he thinks, and allows others to do as well. To think. Cu's most people don't. Or as Fresku likes to put it: "niemand wil zich inlezen, iedereen wil concluderen" - (Nobody wants to do the reading; everybody wants to draw conclusions.)

Waking Up by Sam Harris - a new operating system for your mind

Newly found software that I use on the daily

Arc browser - from the Browser Company

Beeper - all your chats in one app, really

Clay - personal CRM on steroids

oSlash - make shortcuts for all the URLs you visit on the regular

Yoga by Down Dog - I've used a lot of different yoga apps, but this is the one I stick to